One-shots for laughs
by Detonator
Summary: This is just going to be short one-shots to make anyone laugh :) Mostly about Jack and Pitch C:
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:**

**Hi! It's meeeee :)**

**Lately, school has been annoying. Or, it almost always is but oh well. I got a few small ideas throughout lessons on small, very VERY short oneshots to laugh at :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians.**

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"Have you ever thought about the consequences for your pranks?" Pitch asked, clearly annoyed by Jack constantly bugging him. His lair was practically a replica of Antarctica thanks to the child.

"No. Why would I?" Jack asked innocently with a smile plastered onto his pale face.

"Agh, why do I even ask? You don't care about rules. You're Jack friggin Frost." Pitch growled to himself and walked away angrily, kicking an ice sculpture hardly out of annoyance.

"_F*ck!_" he hissed in pain. Solid ice, huh? Jack looked after him trying to keep his laughter as an idea popped into his mind. Pitch would never expect his next prank…

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**Author's note:**

**Please review and tell me if it might have been even a little bit funny? Maybe? Maybe not? Or tell me if it's just as boring as I thought it would get..**

**Hugs and cookies from meee,**

**Detonator :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:**

**Another short conversation in between Jack and Pitch :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians.**

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"I know why I'm immortal!" Jack suddenly exclaimed and laughed happily. He was smiling like crazy too.

"Really, I kind of knew that a few hundred years ago too, you know." Pitch murmured uninterested and continued reading his book, flipping to the next page.

"No, I mean that even if MiM wouldn't have made me immortal I would still live forever!" Jack explained with a dreamy glint in his eye.

"Oh really now? A mortal just turning immortal with a snap of their fingers or what?" Pitch asked bored and looked up with his head tilted to the side, strongly doubting Jack's opinion.

"No, but I laugh a lot, thanks to my pranks! And you know what people say, if you laugh you live longer!" Jack said jumping up and down in the air out of excitement.

"Yeah," Pitch started carefully. "But someday those small pranks of yours will get a little old and you will have to find new ones to entertain you which will probably annoy the shit out of people and anger them so even dying people would leave the hospital just to kill you." Pitch mumbled.

"You're just jealous of my smart theory!" Jack snapped and crossed his arms, sticking his tongue out at the Boogeyman. Just like the child he was.

"Of your _smart _theory? HA, that was even funny!" Pitch exclaimed. Jack huffed, leaving the room. Pitch didn't know who he was messing with..

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**Author's note:**

**Please R&amp;R,**

**Detonator :3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note:**

**Hi! Another short one-shot! Just a small conversation I thought about :3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians.**

* * *

Jack took an apple from the fruit bowl.

"Knife, please." he asked the Boogeyman, referring to one out of Pitch's nightmare sand. Pitch chuckled but shook his head as he watched the teen, expression amused.

"Ok, right, like I'd ever give you a weapon. All you can handle is a tree stick and you want a knife?" he asked raising his eyebrow with a mocking smirk. Jack couldn't even hold on to that piece of wood and he wanted a solid blade? _Yeah, sure! Why not? Note the sarcasm,_ Pitch thought.

"Aww, come on!" Jack whined. Why was he always treated like a five-year old? It's not like he acted like one.. most times…

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**Author's note:**

**Have an awesome day,**

**Detonator :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note:**

**Hellooo!**

**I was looking at a few meme-pictures and I found one that had a fun conversation it it, I kinda just changed it into a situation with Pitch and Jack x3**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians.**

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Jack stood behind Pitch who was sitting on the couch with a book in his hands, turning page every five minutes. Jack sighed.

"Pitch, I'm bored." he mumbled, letting his arms wrap loosely around Pitch's neck whilst his boyfriend stayed still.

"Hi Bored, I'm Pitch." he responded, voice flat as he then continued reading his book. Jack frowned, it wasn't even funny!

"Pitch, I'm serious!" Jack whined childishly.

"No, you're Bored." Pitch argued, eyes never leaving his book.

"You're joking!" he exclaimed annoyed.

"No, I'm Pitch."

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**Author's note:**

**Please R&amp;R,**

**Detonator xD**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:**

**Two chapters in a day, you're lucky! Well, I pitied you because all chapters are so short xP**

**Disclaimer: Me? Owning Rise of the guardians? Maybe in a dream..**

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"Jack, can you please clean that up for me?" Pitch asked, motioning towards a mess of black sand on the floor in their bedroom. Jack eyed it uninterestedly, but then a glint of mischief could be seen in his eyes as he grinned at the Nightmare King.

"Will you sing _All the single ladies_ for me then?" he asked, looking like a child about to get a bag filled with candy but on one condition, as long as they were still.

Pitch looked at Jack with horror, honestly, sometimes Jack scared him more than he thought could be possible.

"Never mind, I'll clean it!"

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**Author's note:**

**xD Sorry, but I spent the last hour imagining Pitch singing it and I just couldn't help it x3**

**Please R&amp;R,**

**Detonator :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:**

**Hey! Another lame conversation I felt like posting x)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rise of the Guardians, if I did.. *starts daydreaming***

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Pitch narrowed his eyes at the teen in front of him.

"Are you talking back to me?" he asked, his cold tone sending shivers down Jack's spine. Jack swallowed nervously.

"Well.. yeah, that's kind of how communication works.. unless you read minds. I mean, that would be so cool.." Jack murmured, a smile spreading over his lips. "I mean, it would only be logic that if you can see dreams that you could read minds too!" the teen suddenly exclaimed in happiness.

Pitch sighed, this child was honestly to be sent to school for some education. Invisible or not, Pitch just couldn't stand him right now.

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**Author's note:**

**Please R&amp;R,**

**Detonator :3**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note:**

**Hi! I'm really happy that you guys found these one-shots funny! That's their purpose :3**

**Summary: Sending Jack to school did not go as expected..**

* * *

"I'm probably getting a big fail on Health and Safety in school." Jack mumbled low as he entered the dark lair that he now shared with Pitch. The Nightmare king exited the shadow he'd been waiting for the teen in, walking over to Jack with a small smirk on his face.

"And why is that now?" he asked softly, his voice as smooth as ever.

"Well, we kind of had this test today.." Jack started, pausing as he rolled his eyes to the memory. Pitch nodded for him to continue.

"And there was this question, '_In case of a fire, which steps would you take?_', right?" Jack continued. Pitch nodded again.

"Apparently, 'Fucking gigantic ones' was the wrong answer."

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**Author's note:**

**Well, not something I'd personally write on a test but oh well, I like Jack's logic x)**

**Please Review! I loooooove reviews,**

**Detonator :3**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note:**

**Hey you all! I'm so happy for all the positive feedback I'm getting! It really makes me glad!**

**So, this is another conversation but this time it's between Jack and Jamie, but Pitch is kinda' included ;3 (This kind of happens in the beggining of my made-up relationship between Jack and Pitch c:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians.. -_-**

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"What happened down there? Are you okay?" Jamie rushed forwards just as he saw his best friend and platinum blonde guardian fly out of the hole that once belonged to the Boogeyman. Or did it still maybe? Jamie didn't know for sure.

Jack spun around and smiled at the sight of his first believer. He didn't think he'd find the boy out here.

"You wouldn't believe me if I actually told you, Jamie." he said with a mischievious as well as happy grin. Jamie felt his curiousity get the better of him.

"Try me!" he demanded with an excited smile, showing off where one of his teeth still hadn't grown out. Jack narrowed his eyes playfully at the brunette before thinking that it didn't hurt if Jamie knew. Maybe Pitch would get a little flustered but meh..

"Okay, here I go. So.. I met Pitch, you know, Pitch Black as in the Boogeyman? He's got some major crush on me and invited me back to his lair." Jack said, looking like a fangirl about to break into giggles.

_Yeah, Jack, nice try_, Jamie thought and looked bored at the winter spirit.

"You're right, I don't believe you."

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**Author's note:**

**Please review as they make me really happy, and tell me if this one was too lame.. it sure felt like it..**

**Detonator :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note:**

**Hi! Omg, these reviews I'm getting are really making me happy! Thank you all who take a piece of your valuable time to review, I'm really thankful! So.. here's another fluffy as well as LoveDovey one-shot about Jack and Pitch as a thank-you gift x3**

**Disclaimer: -_- I do not, have never nor will ever own Rise of the Guardians..**

**Now enjoy!**

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"Hey, Pitch! I'm leaving! Europe needs some snow and I can't be late this time!" Jack shouted out cheerfully into the dark as he was about to jog to the entrance and take off towards said destination. He looked over his shoulder when he informed his boyfriend of where he'd be for the following couple of hours before smiling up at the light shining down through the hole and into the lair.

Pitch stood in the dark, waiting for Jack to run closer. He stayed put until Jack was in reach, just about to take off into the light. The action was stopped as Pitch's arm sneaked around the frost boy's slim waist and quickly pulled him back down against him.

"And where exactly did you think you were going without giving me a goodbye kiss, huh?" Pitch half hissed half murmured, lips by Jack's ear and his hot breath blowing over Jack's pale neck. A low giggle escaped the spirit as he spun around in Pitch's arms, his lover could be a bit possessive from time to time but he would be lying if he said he didn't find it a bit cute.

At the moment he was face to face with the Nightmare king Pitch crashed his lips against Jack's. The teen kissed back, a blush creeping onto his normally pale cheeks. Pitch pulled away with a small smile, seeing Jack look shyly to the side while biting his lip.

"There's no need to be shy, darling." Pitch murmured lovingly, using two fingers to make Jack look him in the eyes.

"I'm not shy." Jack said, a frown appearing onto his features at the comment. Pitch chuckled.

"There's no need to get too serious either, you know."

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**Author's note:**

**Hope you all liked it, and to bluefrosty27, I might make a few longer chapters now and then ^.^**

**Please review! Hugs and cookies from meee,**

**Detonator x)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note:**

**Hi! I tried making this chapter a little bit longer for the sake of bluefrosty27, so here you go, this one is dedicated to you! :3**

**Title: Sweet surprises, ****Summary: Pitch doesn't often appreciate early mornings, Jack sure knows how to make them better though.**

**Warnings: Okay, not really a warning x) but Pitch might be VERY ooc (out of character) in this one-shot O.o**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rise of the Guardians.**

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Jack walked into the room, hearing a soft snore as he saw he black covers almost covering his partner completely. The platinum blonde smiled gently at the sight of the dangerous and scary Boogeyman sleeping. No matter how ironic it seemed, Pitch slept quite a lot. The teen walked over and sat down on the bed.

"Pitch? Pitch, wake up." Jack whispered low, petting his boyfriend softly on the arm. Pitch groaned low.

"I don't want to." he mumbled childishly, half awake and half asleep. Jack chuckled and leaned down to his ear.

"Then you won't get the surprise I got for you." Jack whispered, trying to keep a straight face but grinning on the inside. He knew Pitch loved surprises, Pitch claimed it was because he tried to come up with new scaring tricks but Jack wouldn't be fooled. He knew Pitch like an open book by now.

Pitch looked up, peaking with one eye opened. After a moment he thought that he was being played just so he'd get up, jack could be sneaky like that.

"You're joking aren't you?" he growled. Jack smirked.

"Not if you behave." the blonde winked and left the room teasingly. Pitch was having a huge debate whether to stay in bed or follow Jack. The second alternative was very tempting.

Too tempting. Far too tempting.

Pitch groaned again as he got up, his disheveled hair pointing in all directions. _This present or whatever better be worth it,_ he thought with a sigh. He walked out of the bedroom, seeing Jack on their couch in the room that they'd put the name "living room" on just because it was big, but other than that it was like any other room in the lair.

Pitch walked over with tired eyes.

"You really look like a zombie, you know? You should get a role in _The walking dead_ or something." Jack pointed out with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Now give me my present." Pitch growled low and sat down next to the teen. Jack smiled mysteriously at him before taking out something from behind his back and handing it to Pitch.

"You really got me something?" Pitch asked, a smile slowly making it's way onto his face no matter how hard he tried to fight it.

"Of course, I mean, I love you, why wouldn't I?" the younger asked. Pitch looked down at the packet in his hands, the box was small but bigger than both of his hands together. It was wrapped in golden paper that he quickly made garbage off when opening his surprise.

His eyes shone with happiness at the sight.

.

.

_**CHOCOLATE.**_

.

.

Pitch just ADORED chocolate. It was like heaven to him.

"Oh my god, you got this for me?" Pitch asked low in astonishment. Jack smiled and nodded, leaning over to plant a tender kiss onto his cheek. Pitch put the box down and hugged Jack tightly.

"Thank you!" Pitch let go of his younger boyfriend. "Now.. I'm just going back to bed and enjoy my chocolate... " he said smiling. Jack grinned, an idea popping into his mind.

"ALL ALONE." Pitch added with a warning finger and jogged back to the bedroom almost like a Black Veil Brides fangirl getting to know she'd gotten tickets for a concert, box of chocolate in his arms, leaving a dumbfounded Jack behind.

"What the hell?" Jack asked himself low, jealousy starting to form, he was jealous of a bit of chocolate? He frowned, a pout forming on his face.

This was not what he'd planned.

.

.

.

Not at all.

Fuck.

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**Author's note:**

**I actually wrote this a few months ago ^.^ so I decided to post it.**

**Tell me what you all thought about it in a review x3**

**~ Detonator**


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